1:17 p.m. 2005-12-05
The Bitch says: A bigger, better entry... Finally.
Finally, a keyboard. I can type. I swear, after typing on that on-screen piece of shit for so long, I feel like I'm in heaven.
My computer is supposed to arrive tomorrow and even though I had plans, I plan on staying at home and waiting... My mother is coming over later after the eye appointment that she has been putting off for the last three months because she might have Glaucoma and even though she knows that it's better if she's diagnosed with it now rather than later because her chances are better if she starts treatment ASAP, she's afraid to go and keeps using money as an excuse even though with her insurance it'll only cost her $20.00, so I know that money isn't the issue...
But anyway, she's coming over for dinner but she doesn't know it.... She thinks that she's coming over to take me to do my laundry and go grocery shopping.... I'm making Ribeye Steaks, Shrimp, Potatoes and Sauteed Mushrooms.
I've been cooking since the age of 7. My Grandmother was a chef and two of my cousins are and I've always wanted to be... The ability to cook is the one thing that I'm glad to have gotten from my family.
I taught myself how to cook and I am, as quite a few of them reluctantly admit, one of the best in the family. I'm not only good at it, but I love it. It's one of the few things that clam me... I can be incredibly pissed off but if I start cooking, preferrably with some music playing, I'll calm down pretty quickly.
Oh, I also got THIS for her forChristmas.
And, of course, I got myself one too. I ordered them with my computer and they should be here later this week or early next week... For some reason, they're taking longer than my computer itself.
See, though? I can be a nice person. Sometimes. I have to admit though, I went well over my limit of good deeds this year... I'll have to slack a little next year to balance them off...
And even though my mother and I don't get along about 99.5% of the time, I still love her... Kind of... To be honest, though, I just didn't have the money to buy any Christmas presents this year and I wanted to buy at least one... So I opted for the above, which is only about $6.00 a month with everything that I ordered with it (The computer and such excluded)... So it was relatively cheap and it didn't take much thought... I had ordered mine about 2 days before I ordered hers and I was sitting on my bed when I decided that it would be a good present for her... She works out at the gym a lot at work and at home and she hates doing it without music and her CD player just broke, so it's really convenient.
I wish that my relationship with my mother was better, I really do but I don't think that it ever will be... So many things have happened between us that I don't think that I'll ever be able to fully forgive her... Or that I'll even begin to be able to, actually... And the fact that she doesn't accept responsibility for anything that she has done to me makes it even harder to forgive her and so does the fact that she still treats me life trash more than half of the time.... She has three children, two of which don't even talk to her, and she acts like she has done nothing wrong. Everything that has happened between them, is also their fault. Not hers at all.... I love her, don't get me wrong, but I often wonder why. I hate the things that she has done not only to me but to my brother and sister as well and I hate the person that she is.
Moving on now...
I'm moving. Again. I just moved into my current Apartment on September 2nd and I'm already moving again... About 13 miles from here. My landlord raised the rent and gave me the option of moving out within the next 30 days or staying and paying the increased rent... If I leave, I get my deposit back and everything... So I'm moving. I can not stand my landlord or my neighbor or the town that I am currently in, so it's probably a good idea.... Plus, there are more jobs available where I'm going and I'll be able to get an Internship at a Law Firm as a Paralegal... Which is what i'm currently studying to be. I got the offer about a month ago but I couldn't take it because of the distance and the fact that I don't have a car... But I was told that If I move closer anytime soon or get a car, the offer is still open... So, I plan on getting a Job, taking the Internship and Continuing my studies.... In other words, I will be extremely busy. Which is actually a good thing because I get bored incredibly easily and the fact that I won't be doing the same things over and over again all day long, 7 days a week, will definitely be a relief.
